Teenage Dreams

Like all girls my age, I spent my adolescence lusting after the boy next door. However, the boy next door was actually a girl, so I had to improvise. Not with her, you sickos. With the quintessential boy next door: Ralph Macchio, The Karate Kid. Who didn't like him?

By the time The Karate Kid 2 came out, I had moved on and was crushing on Optimus Prime, of Transformers fame. Only when he was in robot form, because it would be crazy for a girl like me to have a crush on a truck. Yeah, no crazier than liking a cartoon character! I was six. I think I can be forgiven.

Aside from all the real boys in my life, the boys that really made an impact on my life graced the covers of Tiger Beat and Bop. My walls were adorned with images of Kirk Cameron, the boys from New Kids on the Block, Scott Grimes, Keanu Reeves and countless others.


I always believed that if circumstances were different, i.e. I was on their radar; these boys would feel the same way about me. Yes, I now realise that they were probably adored by millions of other girls and boys, but try telling that to pre-tween Sabrina. You have to keep in mind that that little girl grew up to be me, so it's safe to say that if I wanted something, I had to have it.


As much as it kills me to say this, I get where those Bieber psychopaths...er..fans come from. And I don't blame them. What with magazines like Tiger Beat and Bop, telling them that they're in with a chance. I'm surprised there aren't more celebrity stalkers under the age of 12!

Credit: Bop and Tiger Beat

Just look at the cover above. 3 signs Justin's falling for you! and Why YOU have a chance with Justin! Are you kidding me? Girls (and boys), listen up 'cause I'm only going to say it once: You are more likely to catch the Black Death, than you do of dating any of these celebrities. Oh and you'll never, ever have a chance with Robert Pattinson. That dude is too hot for any of you mere mortals. Sorry, but the truth hurts.


I only wish they wouldn't choose such an effeminate idol. My crush changed so many times, from actor to muso aka boy band member and vice versa, but they all had something in common: you would never mistake them for a girl.

Sorry Bieberites, but when I first had the displeasure of listening to that turd on the radio, I thought he was a girl. In fact, when he got hit in the head at one of his concerts by a water bottle, I relieved that moment over and over again. Thanks to You Tube, you can too.


No, but seriously, lets have a look at the new crop of meat that have popped up over night, who might actually be worthy of lusting after.


 <-----Shia LaBeouf
Credit: inquisitr

Credit: Correcttimezone

Where You've Seen Him:
Even Stevens, Transformers, Transformers Revenge of the Fallen, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

My crush match:

Scott Grimes------->

Where You've Seen Him:
Critters, Critters 2, Who's the Boss, Party of Five, ER, American Dad, Band of Brothers, Robin Hood

Connection: Both are squeaky clean child stars who have transformed into hunky television and film stars




   <-----Justin Long

Credit: TalkMovies


Where You've Seen Him:Ed, Dodgeball, Die Hard 4.0, He's Just Not That Into You, Going the Distance

My crush match:

 <------Keanu Reeves


Where You've Seen Him:
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Speed,
Point Break, The Matrix, The Lake House

Connection: Think lovable goofball, who can transform from a sexy action star to romantic lead at the drop of a hat


Sadly, there isn't anyone out there that can match Kirk Cameron. Not because he is irreplaceable, but I fear we have lost him to religious evangelism and I don't want to lose another talented, young actor that way.




Credit: Famous Talk

Thankfully, these days my crushes are a little more manly, take charge kind of guys.
Think Matthew Fox and George Clooney. Men...ahhh...real men. What I wouldn't give to...




Credit: Hollywood Today

Anyway, the moral of this story is not to have regrets. I don't regret any of my crushes. Well, except Ralph Macchio and Optimus (but I would still rather do Optimus than Bieber). Post-evangelism Kirk Cameron is still more manly than Justin.

Crushes can make or break your teenage dreams. Just remember, it's not always going to be like how you see it in the movies. Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality...