The Fear Factor

It was January 28, 1986 and I was six years old. Like the rest of the world, my first grade class had gathered around the television set to witness the Space Shuttle Challenger make its long awaited journey into space. Like most six year olds back then, I didn't fully understand the concept of space travel. I wasn't even aware of all the countries in the world, let alone comprehend that there were planets beyond our own, waiting to be discovered. The Challenger mission was unlike any other before it.


For the first time, a private civilian would take part in a space mission, as part of NASA's Teacher in Space Project (TISP). Announced by President Ronald Reagan in 1984, TISP was launched to inspire students to explore Science, Mathematics and Space Exploration and to honour the teachers who taught them. As part of the program, Christa McAuliffe beat out over 11,000 participants to become the first teacher in space.   


The Challenger Shuttle Crew     Back row, from left: Ellison S. Onizuka, Teacher in Space Participant Christa McAuliffe, Greg Jarvis and Judy Resnik.
                       Front row, from left: Pilot Mike Smith, Commander Dick Scobee, and Ron McNair.

Credit: Space-Video

The lights dimmed and the blinds were pulled down. Ms Hunter positioned the television in the centre of the room and had all the students gather around. The countdown began. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...blast off. The Challenger lifted off the ground and took off. It was amazing. Even though I didn't really understand what was happening, I was excited to see a rocket take off into space. Ms Hunter reiterated the importance of the event several times, but it just went over our heads. And then it happened. 73 seconds after takeoff, the Space Shuttle Challenger broke apart and exploded right before our eyes. I was mortified...  


It wasn't until many years and several flights later, that I discovered I had a humongous case of Aviophobia. When I was a child, I loved flying. My favourite part was the takeoff. Hearing the thunderous roar of the engines starting, always sent shivers up my spine. It was all so exciting for an eight year old. However, things changed as I got older. After watching too many episodes of Air Crash Investigations, I soon realised that I had a real fear of flying. It wasn't the flying itself. It was the threat of crashing.

I've had the pleasure of flying business class several times, but even that luxury was wasted, as I spent the entire flight praying that I would make it to my destination in one piece. It wasn't until last night whilst having a conversation with a friend about my fear, that I realised that there might be a link between the Challenger disaster and my fear of flying .



As a child I was fearless. I could climb trees. I could swing upside down on the monkey bars. I could even ride my bike around the block, all by myself. At the end of our cul-de-sac, there was an alleyway that led to a railroad track. Along the track, there were rows of blackberry bushes. We would spend hours playing on the tracks, picking blackberries and we never feared that we would get run over by the cargo train that would pass by every few hours. A few years back when I was a teacher, curiosity got the better of me, when I noticed a group of children congregated in a corner. I walked over to them and enquired as to what they were doing. It turns out, like all children, they were fascinated by a caterpillar, that was trudging across the arm of one of the boys.

I asked them if I could hold it. I remember catching them as a child, placing them in a jar with a leaf (as an adult, I wonder if the leaf is even necessary. Do they even eat leaves?) and taking them out and letting them crawl across my fingers. I lasted a millisecond before letting out a bloodcurdling scream. I was petrified of a little insect that couldn't even bite me




Children are fearless. I look back to my own childhood and besides the usual fears: the dark, monsters and murderers, I was pretty fearless. I think we lose that fearlessness, when we transition into adulthood. I wish I wasn't as fearful as I am today. There are so many things that I can never do as a result of my fears: surfing, going on a cruise (The movies Titanic and Poseidon sunk that dream for me) and wrapping food in aluminum foil (don't ask).


...The silence that followed the explosion dragged on for what felt like hours. We were all shocked. We had no idea what had just unfolded in front of our eyes. Even if we did we didn't have the mental capacity to comprehend it. Our parents were called and we were sent home. Eerily, Christa McAuliffe predicted the impact the failed mission would have on its viewers.

"We sat around one night and thought people are going to look back and say, I can't imagine there was a lot of excitement about HER going up!"

Sadly, in her case it's true, but as I talk about it now, there is no excitement in my tone. Only sadness for the lives lost that day. The crew members aboard the Space Shuttle Challenger did not give into their fears on the 28th of January, 1986 and I don't think we should either.